Note to Self:
You really are an adult now…
Why did I always think that being an adult would be so fun? Now I just think about how fun it would be to be a kid again! The truth is, I still feel like a kid a lot of the time. People joke about it, but it's so true. I can't count the number of times when I'm in a situation and look around for the "adult" and then realize that it's actually me. I never asked for this responsibility! Who let me be an adult? Haha
I'm 20 years old so I've been an adult, legally, for about two years now. The truth is I just barely started to feel it at all. Really, the term "adult" is more arbitrary than anything.
I had a chat with my mom the other day and she told me about something her friend had said. She explained that after looking at pictures from the wedding (I got married in October!) and pictures of me for my birthday (mid-January) she thought I looked much more grown up now. Who knew that getting married would make me an old maid!?
In reality, there's only a three month difference between the wedding and my birthday. That's not a lot of time to "grow up." I feel as if I really have, though. By now it's been just over four months since the wedding and I do feel like a different person.
I think there are certain events in your life that will change you more than others. The big events. Graduating, getting married, having a loved one die, moving out. These are just some of the few that have changed me and helped me to "grow up" more quickly during those times.
At this point, moving to a new place and getting married are the biggest changes I've ever had… and they really happened at the same time. I have grown a lot from these experiences. It's not so much the specific events, but the responsibilities that come with them. I have to learn how to be a wife and homemaker. I have to grow out of my shell and meet knew people. I have to accept that a lot of my friends (especially from high school) are not in the same position as me anymore and we're not going to be able to relate to all the same things. I have many more bills now that I have to pay and more consequences now that it's all on me and my husband instead of always having parents to back us up. I have to be an adult now.
Being an adult isn't all bad… I get to choose my bed time! Which, if I'm honest, would be before 10 every night if I didn't have work to do. I feel more accomplished as an adult. Sure, I had accomplishments before now, but the "adult" ones seem to have a lot more impact.
Really, I do feel different than I did even four months ago. I don't know if I see a change in appearance like my mom's friend did, but I'll let you decide on that one.
Wedding day:
Now:
Keep in mind that I had been dreaming about my wedding day for practically my whole life. I felt like a princess that day so I think I probably looked and acted a little more childish than I normal would!
Anyway, the point is that I have changed and grown since I've been married. I think it would have been near impossible not to. I guess now all I have to do is figure out how exactly to be an adult. I'm sure, with time, I'll learn to look, think, and act "adult," but I'm just not sure that that's happened yet! I'll keep you posted ;)
