My Stomach and My Anxiety

Note to Self: 

This is SO COOL!

Hi, everyone! This post is a little different because it's not really a note to myself. This is a post where I really just want to share a part of my life and my story with all of you!

Over the last few weeks I've been researching and writing a paper (okay, you got me, I wrote the paper in a day haha) about the bidirectional relationship between the gastrointestinal tract and anxiety, and the effect of probiotics on that relationship. 

This topic didn’t just come from some weird obsession I have with stomachs or psychological disorders (though I think both are fascinating). I chose this topic because I have struggled with both gastrointestinal issues and anxiety problems for years. I have what is referred to as a "functional gastrointestinal disorder." This means that there’s something wrong with the way my body is working, but there are no clear, structural causes. Basically, no matter how many doctors and specialists I go to, they all tell me that I’m just fine. In fact, I found the term I used early to define my stomach issues on my own. No doctor ever told me I had a "functional GI disorder," but that is literally what has been happening. The doctors who didn’t tell me I was fine (structurally), decided that my GI issues must be caused by anxiety. The problem with that idea is I didn’t feel anxious or stressed at all when this all started. My stomach issues began the summer after 8th grade... what on earth would I have to be that stressed about? School was over, summer was good, I had a great life. It was nearly impossible for me to find any correlation between the problems in my stomach and stress.

Fast-forward about five years. The GI discomfort continued regularly throughout that time. I found little relief in various prescriptions, but, for the most part, it was something that I had come to think of as just a part of me. At this point, though, I began to develop intense anxiety, which eventually led to full-on panic attacks. People joke about those... like "calm down, don't have a panic attack." Seriously, though... they are no joking matter. My first panic attack TERRIFIED me. I'll never joke about that again. Now, I will admit that this was a much more stressful time in my life. Transitioning to life as an adult, figuring out college, thinking about getting married... they're stressful things. But it troubled me that I was having such intense anxiety and panic attacks when I couldn't remember ever feeling anything near that before. 

At this point, my doctors still believed that my GI problems came from my anxiety. It is true that in times when I felt noticeably anxious, I had some GI discomfort. THIS FELT DIFFERENT. It's not something I could easily describe to a doctor (or to anyone) but the stomach pain that came from my anxiety felt completely different from the stomach pain that I had been experiencing for years. Even if my doctors couldn't distinguish between the two, I knew there was a difference. 

Fast-forward, again, (about a year) to my Biopsychology class this semester. My professor (love that woman) briefly mentioned that bacteria in the stomach can have an effect on anxiety and then moved onto our next topic. After class I approached her to clarify. I told her about some of my issues and that doctors always told me that my anxiety caused my stomach issues. She told me that's usually true, but that the relationship can go the other way, as well. I was amazed! This suggested that my stomach problems could have actually influenced my anxiety! I decided this relationship would be the perfect topic for my research paper. My professor actually suggested I talk about probiotics as well, and I am so glad she did. 

I won't bore you with my actual APA formatted research paper (though, if you're interested, I would be happy to email you a copy), but I would like to briefly summarize all that I've learned. 

Typically the relationship has been viewed from a top-down perspective: the idea that our GI tract is influenced by the physical and emotional stress we are experiencing. This makes sense and is a very real part of the relationships inside our bodies. However, it says nothing about the other aspect. The microbiota (bacteria) in the GI tract are actually a crucial part of how the brain is influenced by the body. This includes the influence on the risk of disorders such as anxiety.

How exactly does this relationship work? How does the GI tract influence our brain? 

Going back to the top-down perspective, stress can actually influence how permeable the intestines are. This gives the bacteria access to the peripheral nervous system. Without going into too much detail, there is a portion of our PNS that is designed to send information about digestive processes to the central nervous system (aka: our brain). The signal sent from the GI tract to the brain influences the neurotransmitters in the hypothalamus and the amygdala, which are both areas involved with processing anxiety-related emotions. 

Now, ideally, every relationship in our body exists to serve a purpose. What purpose would this signal serve? The nerves that send this signal are sensitive to dangerous bacteria in our stomach. It sends the signal as a kind of warning. Which, looking from an evolutionary perspective, makes sense! Food poisoning (and other things) can leave an animal (or human) vulnerable so the body needs to warn the brain that it needs to be more cautious (and, in turn, anxious) than normal. Tada! It makes sense. 

My next question had to do with what could be done to influence this relationship so that I could "fix" myself. As my professor hinted, probiotics are the most promising answer. Probiotics work to displace the potentially dangerous bacteria in our GI tract, which makes it of greater benefit to the individual. This also improves mental health because of the signals I talked about earlier! 

Studies with mice have shown that probiotic treatment can reverse anxiety-like behavior in mice that have GI inflammation. While there haven't been many human studies yet, the ones that have been done have shown evidence that probiotics do have an anxiolytic effect in humans as well. These findings are promising and could lead to more clinical trials with probiotic treatments in humans. The hope is that the bacteria in the GI tract could be targeted for therapy related to anxiety disorders. A combination of probiotic treatment and traditional therapy could be very beneficial. 

So there's what I've learned so far! This has truly been the most interesting research project I've ever done. While I know it's impossible to do a true study on myself, I believe that I have already been applying what I've learned, without even realizing it! Which is so cool! Over the summer I started drinking Greens every day. Since then, I've noticed a decrease in the frequency of my "stomach flare-ups" as I call them, as well as a decrease in my anxiety. Yes, I still get anxious... but I couldn't tell you the last time I had a panic attack. And that is truly amazing. It turns out that Greens are a probiotic. After all the research I've done for this paper, it really makes sense that this drink could have helped me in those areas! Even if I can't count this as "real research," I feel great about it. Anything that can have any effect on all my issues is a life saver to me. 

I know that I'm not "cured," but if you could only feel and understand the relief that I have experienced over the last few months! I haven't felt this healthy (both physically and mentally) in a long time and I am so grateful. I plan on researching this topic more, for sure. Maybe I'll even have my GI microbiome tested to see if it really has just been pesky bad bacteria messing with me all this time. Because this is just my hypothesis right now haha Anyway, I'm excited to see where this takes me! 

Sorry if you thought that was boring. I just had to share it because I think it is SO COOL! And I just can't stop smiling about the whole thing... so yeah :) I hope you all have a great day!

Again, feel free to message me if you want more of the information that I gathered or the sources that I've been learning from! I'd be happy to talk with you! :) 

kenna.m.4life@gmail.com 

Sexual Harassment

Note to Self:

It's real. And it is NOT OK. 

Hello, all. This is my story about my experience with sexual harassment at work.

If you know me personally and have taken on a more "protective" role in my life, you may not want to read this. For your own sake. I'm sure you will anyway, but I'd advise you not to. I don't need you to worry about me and I certainly don't need you to tell me that I "should have come to you."
Believe me, I know.

I am writing this post for those (especially young women) who are in this situation. My goal is simply to be one more voice of advice and story among many. Maybe just one person will relate to my story. Hopefully even just one person will be encouraged to get out of an awful situation. If not, I hope you all enjoy my diary-like post about my story, anyway. 

We've all heard the talks before. Whenever we get a new job, there is at least one training about sexual harassment. They're almost all the same. Usually you have to sit through those awful videos (that you know haven't been redone since the 80s) for an hour or so, learning about how unacceptable sexual harassment is. You learn about what counts as sexual harassment and what you're supposed to do if you feel like a victim. Then you have to sign some paper that says you "understand" and you move onto learning the things that you will actually be doing at your new job. 

I'll admit, after the first couple sexual harassment courses, I kind of tuned out. It's the same info. I had an attitude that led me to believe I would never put up with something like that and anyone who does is stupid. Especially girls who put up with it from male coworkers and don't tell anyone. "They are just STUPID."

Well... then, I guess I was stupid.

I knew that my coordinator was creepy. I knew that most of the girls requested not to work with him. I just didn't care. I thought I knew better. After all, I had that attitude and belief that I would never let myself get into an uncomfortable situation like this. Plus, he told me I reminded him of his daughter... I assumed I was safe.

It started really subtle. Things like him standing closer to me than he did with the guys or calling me over to his desk to show me something on the computer. Things that you don't necessarily think about being bad at all. I just ignored it.

Then, one day, he called me "baby." It was at the end of a sentence and was slurred together... I thought that I must have misheard him. There was NO WAY he just called me that. I ignored it.

A while later (weeks) he called me "baby" again... and I knew this time that I hadn't misheard. But I didn't do anything. I ignored it.

This happened on and off for months... along with inappropriate conversations about his dating life and other things. But other people were always there... so I didn't do or say anything. I ignored it.

I was stupid.

I don't like confrontation. I knew that it could jeopardize my job if I said anything (no, not legally, but we all understand the politics and the unwritten consequences). This was the only coordinator I worked with. In the only center that I worked in. I had been promoted to supervisor here. I knew that if I said anything, I could be held back or sent to a different center where I would be well behind the other employees. I needed this job. I needed the pay that I was making and the hours I was able to work with my current position. So I ignored it.

Then, one day, I heard him call another female coworker "baby." She didn't hear it, and it's possible that I misheard, but it was enough for me to reach out. I asked her about it. Asked her if she heard it. She said no. I explained that it had been happening to me for months, but that I didn't know what to do or say to anyone about it. We talked. I felt more justification in all of my feelings... the uncomfortable aspect for sure. But also the confusion about what I should do. I told myself that if it happened again, I wouldn't put up with it. I would call him out.

The next week, he called me "baby" in front of 3 other coworkers and a student (I work at a university). I didn't know what to do. Everyone was there and I didn't want to cause a scene with the student there... So I ignored it.

Later that day he went to a meeting. The two other women that had been working at the time (one of which the one I had talked to before) told me that they heard him say it and that it wasn't ok. They told me that they would back me if I talked to him or if I wanted to go directly to HR. I knew I needed to confront him.

I took the rest of that night to really think and pray about it. Asking for and getting up the courage to do it first thing in the morning when I got to work. He wasn't there and had meetings for almost my entire 4-hour shift. By the end, I had almost lost my nerve. I could feel my heart racing and I knew that I was so close to just giving up and ignoring it again. But I knew I needed to say something or this anxious feeling would never go away. I would continue to feel uncomfortable at work.

At the end of my shift, I asked him if I could talk to him for a minute. I simply said, "You've been calling me "baby" a lot and it makes me really uncomfortable. It needs to stop." I was so proud of myself for standing up for myself and telling him off. Then he said, "Oh, I've caught myself a couple times. I just call everyone that. My kids, my friends, everyone." My heart broke. He was blowing it off. I told him again that it made me uncomfortable and it really needed to stop and he said he'd try. That was the end of the conversation.

The next day I was talking with a female coworker about it. She told me that this man had said/done inappropriate things to her as well. She went to our boss and reported it. The boss said that lots of girls had complaints about this man. The only action he took? Not to schedule those specific girls with that coordinator anymore.

EXCUSE ME?

This man had been sexually harassing multiple employees over a long period of time and NOTHING had been done about it. I was infuriated.

After I confronted the coordinator, I decided that I would wait it out; see if the behaviors continued, and go from there. But after I learned about the other girls, I knew I couldn't stay quiet anymore. Later that day I called one of the women who said she would go to HR with me and told her the new information. She agreed that we at least had to report it so it was on record.

A couple days later I got a call from one of the other coordinators. He told me that he had found out about everything going on and got an investigator (through the university) to handle the issue. He asked if I would be willing to talk with the investigator and if I knew anyone else who might have anything to add. I agreed that I would talk to him and do anything else I needed to, to help resolve this.

So then I played the waiting game, waiting for the investigator to call.

That weekend my husband came home from a trip and I new it was finally time to talk to him about it. Like I mentioned before, I hadn't talked to anyone about it outside of my two coworkers. No friends, family, not even my husband. I felt awful about not telling him. Guilty. But I also felt embarrassed and guilty about the whole encounter. I had been going through the whole thing alone and I so badly wanted to have him by my side. So I explained everything. I knew that he would be there with me every step of the way. Encouraging me through the hard parts. Understand when I had a really rough day at work. I was so relieved to finally have him understand what had been happening.

The investigator called the following evening and we talked for a good while. Honestly I was terrified about that phone call before it happened. But it was obvious that the investigator had a lot of experience in this and he truly cared about the situation and cared about me as a person. I told him everything I knew and everything that had happened. I asked if he would inform be before confronting my coordinator, and he agreed that would probably be beneficial for me.

And that was that.

It's been a few weeks now. Most of it is all "hush hush." I hear things every once in a while either from my boss or from the investigator, but I'm sure soon it'll all be out in the open.

As of today, I turned in my letter of resignation. I'll finish out the summer at this job, but will not be continuing in the Fall. I informed my boss that I was willing to keep in contact through the duration of the investigation, however long that takes.

It's bittersweet. I'm scared to move on. I've had this job basically the entire time I've been in college. I know it's time, though. It was a toxic situation that I didn't feel comfortable in and it's good that I found a way out.

As I mentioned earlier, I am writing this post for people who have been or are currently in similar situations. I know that many situations are worse than my own, but I wanted to share it anyway. And I would like to end it with a few things I wish I had heard before now:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. 

YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS.

THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE.

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY.

DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED.

YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS. 

If any of you are in this situation and want someone to talk to, I am here with an open heart and mind and a listening ear. If I can help even one person get through this situation, I will do it. You can email me at kenna.m.4life@gmail.com. If you don't want to talk to me, please, PLEASE talk to someone. There is help available. There is a way out. You don't have to put up with this.

Sexual harassment is real. And it is NOT OK.

P.S. If any of you know where I work specifically, I would appreciate it if you didn't mention anything about it. The investigation is still going on and while I made this post as anonymous as possible, I know a few of you will likely know who I'm talking about. Please keep the specifics that you know confidential so that this may all run as smoothly as possible. Thank you. 

Positivity

Note to Self:

Surround yourself with positivity. Positive people. Positive words. Positive energy. 

It's been a couple months! But have I learned a lot in that time. 

Two months ago I was just heading into the last few weeks of my 4th semester in college. Finals were coming and stress levels were rising. You probably wouldn't know it, but I was in a pretty bad place. The only person who really understands this is my husband and I appreciate him being by my side through it all. 

I was depressed. Not clinically, not officially diagnosed, but just depressed. I was negative... a lot. I would joke in public and with friends and try to be the happy, upbeat person I felt like I should be. When I got home, though, it wasn't the same story. I would cry for no reason and get upset at the smallest things. I'd sit and not want to do anything. I'd watch Netflix and not really even pay attention. I new something had to change. My husband was so patient and kind with me through it all... but I was starting to get impatient with myself. I didn't understand why I was so down and couldn't seem to get back up. I'm still not sure. I can only guess that it was just a rough patch. But that rough patch brought on a lot of significant changes in my life. 

Two months ago I decided to join as an independent distributor with It Works! It was a huge decision and I was scared to take the leap. What pushed me over the edge? I knew I needed to make a change in my life. If you read my previous post about it ( http://notetoselfcollection.blogspot.com/2015/03/it-works.html ) you'll see that my reasons for joining were: 1) earn another income to be more financially stable, 2) help myself and others reach goals, and 3) become more confident and grow as a person. 

I've only been in for two months and I've already seen these changes starting to take place in my life. For that, I am extremely grateful. But I never could have imagined the biggest change that would take place. 

After I joined, I started to watch the people on my team. For the most part, people were really happy. Not just with their business, but with their life in general. I noticed that the people who succeeded and the people who were genuinely happy all had one thing in common: POSITIVITY. They didn't let bad days get them down. They didn't listen to the haters and the negativity. They believed in themselves. They started each day with a positive attitude. That seemed to make all the difference. 

So. One month ago, after watching everyone else for a month and learning from their example, I started to fill my life with positivity. I started to post motivational and inspiration quotes on Instagram/Facebook nearly every day. I wanted to help other people. I knew that there were going to be times when people wouldn't have a single positive thought throughout their day. It had happened to me. And I wanted to change that. If my quote for that day helped even one person, it was worth it. I didn't even realize the effect it would have on me, until recently. 

My life has been influenced greatly by the positive quotes and images that I have found. I search for a few minutes every day and find more quotes to add to my folder. Those few minutes every day have changed my life for the better. Surround yourself with positive words! Everyday I am so impressed by the change it has made in my life. Just a few positive thoughts can change everything! 

Then, there are people. There are negative people... I was one of them. If you're someone who isn't stuck in a negativity rut, do what you can to be just a little bit of positive in their life. You never know the influence you could have. 

That being said, you have to be selfish sometimes. Sometimes, you have to worry about YOU. It can be easy to get caught up in trying to help others be happy. It's not a bad thing to want to help! But it's also possible to drown in the negativity. Learn yourself. Learn the people you interact with. Learn which people are having a positive impact on your life. Learn which people you can only handle in small doses. It's OKAY. It's okay to need a break. 

You have to take care of yourself... surround yourself with positive people who are going to lift you up! You don't have to abandon the other people in your life, the ones who might be having a harder time, but you have to be able to maintain a balance. You can't help anyone if you're not taking care of yourself first. 

I hope this all made sense... it kind of feels like word vomit now that I think about it.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is: positivity can change your life. Do everything you can to make that change! :) 

Thank you to all of those wonderful, positive people in my life! You've made a huge difference!! 

It Works!

Note to Self:

You're an It Works! Distributor!!

WOW! I am on cloud nine right now at the beginning of my It Works! Adventure. I am beyond excited to start this chapter in my life.

Ok, so you might be wondering what I'm talking about. I'm talking about It Works! Here is a simple description for the company: 

"It Works! is a skin care and nutrition company, named for the excited reaction people have when trying our products—it works! Our products are sold globally through our network of Independent Distributors who work as One Team with One Mission—to change lives! Together, the It Works! family is looking great, getting out of debt, having fun, and giving back to the community."

I just joined as an Independent Distributor! That means I get to share this product with all of you and help you reach the goals that you set for yourself!

I just barely started in this business and I am already so excited. Starting out, I have 3 main goals for myself in this company. 

1) I want to help my husband and I grow more financially stable. I have seen this company do amazing things for people. Many distributors are able to get out of debt in just a few months. My Upline (the person I signed with) just earned a $20,000 bonus and her and her husband and cute son were able to move into a new house! 

I just got married a few months ago. Five months and 12 days to be exact, but who's counting? ;) My husband and I are both full-time college students, working part time jobs, and struggling to pay the bills.  Thats why the first reason I wanted to join this business is to have some extra income just to get rid of some of the stress in our lives. 

2) I have seen the amazing things these products can do and I want to be able to make some of those changes in my life. The most important thing about these products is that it works for you. Whatever your beauty goals are, you can work to achieve them in this company. I had to cut my hair a few months ago because the ends were so bad after bleaching it two years ago. I was so sad to see it go and I miss my long hair! It Works! has a product for that (Hair, Skin, & Nails) and I am so excited to use it! Whether you want healthier hair, to tighten/tone/firm a place on your body, or just to feel healthier, there is a product for you! That's why my second goal in this business is to help myself and others reach our goals, whatever they may be!

3) The third goal I have in this company is quite personal, but I'd love to share it with all of you. I have been shy my whole life. It's become such an integral part of who I am. My friends may beg to differ (I'm not afraid to get crazy when I'm with my besties) but it's true. I am unbearably shy. If you don't talk to me first, there is a 99% chance that I won't strike up a conversation (this goes for new people, not friends that I already have). I am terrified of being surrounded by people I don't know. Not because people, themselves, scare me. Not because I hate people. It's because I'm too scared to talk to any one of them. It's irrational. It's held me back from so much in my life. College has been really hard because every semester I wonder if I'll have the courage to talk to someone and make a friend or if I'll be lucky enough to have someone befriend me. Now, I am ready to change that. 

I am so excited to be a part of this company because it gives me a reason to talk to people, tons and tons of people. If I don't talk to people I will not achieve goals 1 and 2 that I've just told you about. It will push me to step out of my comfort zone which is a good thing! I know that joining this company was my first step in becoming a more confident me and growing as a person. 

So! Those are my reasons for joining it works and becoming an independent distributor! What will your reasons be? I would love to help any and all of you start on your own It Works! Adventure! Whether you want to be a loyal customer or a distributor, I am here to help you ever step of the way! 

Here is my contact information if you would like to learn more about It Works!

My website:

          kennahansen.myitworks.com

My email:

          kennahansen.myadventure@gmail.com

My phone:

          (801) 556-8339 (Call or text) - If I miss your call, leave your information and I will get back to you as soon as I can! 

100% Track Record

Note to Self: 

"Your track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%"

Bad days happen. Sometimes they happen frequently. Lately my definition for a "bad day" has been a day when I feel as if I can't do anything right. Or days when I feel like I can't do everything that I have to. I take a hit to my self esteem and well-being each time I let one of those days get the best of me. But it's so hard not to!

Life can be overwhelming, no matter what your circumstances are. That's life! 

I'm here to tell you, though, that you CAN do it! 

Whenever I have one of these bad days, I think of a quote I came across a few years ago:

I'm not completely sure who to quote for this. I found it on pinterest (I think) without a name. I did a little research and one person says that the author is Rich Bluni. That's the only name I could find, so I'm going to go with it! (Pleas let me know if you know otherwise!)

Now, I said that on bad days I think of this quote. What I should say, instead, is that I TRY to think of this quote. It's easier said than done! Just ask my husband. He'd be sure to tell you that I don't usually just "snap out" of a bad day when I think of this. Really, this quote leads to a certain frame of mind - one that's not necessarily easy to get into. Personally, though, I find this to be easier than just saying to myself "It's going to be OK." 

When people tell me it's going to be OK, I usually don't respond well to it. I know they mean well! And the truth is they're probably right. But can I know that for sure? No. That's why I love this quote so much... because it is true! So far I've made it through 100% of my bad days. And that's awesome! I'm awesome! (Positive self talk also helps to get out of the "bad day" rut. Don't feel bad about telling yourself that you're freaking amazing!) 

Be kind to yourself. Know that bad days happen and that you have, can, and will get through them!

"Adult"

Note to Self: 

You really are an adult now… 

Why did I always think that being an adult would be so fun? Now I just think about how fun it would be to be a kid again! The truth is, I still feel like a kid a lot of the time. People joke about it, but it's so true. I can't count the number of times when I'm in a situation and look around for the "adult" and then realize that it's actually me. I never asked for this responsibility! Who let me be an adult? Haha 

I'm 20 years old so I've been an adult, legally, for about two years now. The truth is I just barely started to feel it at all. Really, the term "adult" is more arbitrary than anything. 

I had a chat with my mom the other day and she told me about something her friend had said. She explained that after looking at pictures from the wedding (I got married in October!) and pictures of me for my birthday (mid-January) she thought I looked much more grown up now. Who knew that getting married would make me an old maid!? 

In reality, there's only a three month difference between the wedding and my birthday. That's not a lot of time to "grow up." I feel as if I really have, though. By now it's been just over four months since the wedding and I do feel like a different person. 

I think there are certain events in your life that will change you more than others. The big events. Graduating, getting married, having a loved one die, moving out. These are just some of the few that have changed me and helped me to "grow up" more quickly during those times. 

At this point, moving to a new place and getting married are the biggest changes I've ever had… and they really happened at the same time. I have grown a lot from these experiences. It's not so much the specific events, but the responsibilities that come with them. I have to learn how to be a wife and homemaker. I have to grow out of my shell and meet knew people. I have to accept that a lot of my friends (especially from high school) are not in the same position as me anymore and we're not going to be able to relate to all the same things. I have many more bills now that I have to pay and more consequences now that it's all on me and my husband instead of always having parents to back us up. I have to be an adult now. 

Being an adult isn't all bad… I get to choose my bed time! Which, if I'm honest, would be before 10 every night if I didn't have work to do. I feel more accomplished as an adult. Sure, I had accomplishments before now, but the "adult" ones seem to have a lot more impact. 

Really, I do feel different than I did even four months ago. I don't know if I see a change in appearance like my mom's friend did, but I'll let you decide on that one.

Wedding day:

Now:

Keep in mind that I had been dreaming about my wedding day for practically my whole life. I felt like a princess that day so I think I probably looked and acted a little more childish than I normal would!

Anyway, the point is that I have changed and grown since I've been married. I think it would have been near impossible not to. I guess now all I have to do is figure out how exactly to be an adult. I'm sure, with time, I'll learn to look, think, and act "adult," but I'm just not sure that that's happened yet! I'll keep you posted ;) 

100 Days of Marriage

Note To Self:

Congratulations! You've made it through 100 days of marriage!

Something about 3-digit numbers make things seem legitimate, you know? Saying, "we've been married for 3 and half months" just doesn't have the same ring to it as, "we've been married for 100 days." So… yay! We've been married for 100 days! 

I'm sure people who have been married for years would laugh at being proud of only 100 days. Really, it's not a lot of time. It's what happens in those 100 days that really matters. I've learned more about my husband in the last 100 days than I think I did in the entire 365 days before that. I'm sure he's learned just as much about me. It's insane!

I've learned that when he says we're out of butter, there's probably still a full stick of butter left in the fridge. I've learned that his bedtime is typically way later than mine is. I've learned that chips and salsa is always the answer to "what do you want to eat?".

He's learned that when I say "No, I don't need to shower. I haven't gone to the gym and my hair still looks good" I mean that I am really not going to take a shower. I don't eat Ramen like soup, I drain most of the water so it's really just noodles. I also favor one side of my body (ex: I eat all the gross fruit snacks on the left side of my mouth and all the good fruit snacks on the right side). I'm weird and he's slowly learning that haha 

What else has happened in the last 100 days since we got married?

I have had people ask me, "How's married life?" WAY more than I did 101 days ago . . . haha probably more than 100 times, too. 

I gained another role. I'm all sorts of things! Daughter, sister, cousin, student, employee, etc. Now I've added "wife" to that list! It's crazy how much pressure I've put on myself because of that title. Now it feels like I have to be able to do everything . . . because that's what wives and mothers do, right? They know everything and are capable of everything. At least that's what it seems like when you're looking from the outside. When you're on the inside, though, it often feels like you don't know and can't do anything (at least that's my experience). I thank God every day for a husband who makes me feel like I'm good enough. 

On a similar note, I've tried to come up with every cute idea out there to implement in our marriage and life. I convinced Stefen that we needed to cut a piece off of the christmas tree so we could make it into an ornament and write "Our 1st Christmas" on it. 

For the last two day's I've been trying to figure out where I could buy a 100 pc puzzle for us to put together tonight  (100 days, 100 pieces, so cute, right?). Turns out when you don't think about it till Saturday and the event is on Monday, the only puzzles you can find are one of a frog and one with some StarWars character on it. Then I thought I could make my own puzzle! YEAH RIGHT! So I abandoned the puzzle idea… we'll try again at 500 days (500 pieces) or 1000 days (1000 pieces) haha 

Anyway! It's been a really good 100 days. Not easy, by any means, but good. I can't wait to spend many more days married to my wonderful husband :)

Most of my blog posts have a lesson or something . . . a "Note to Self." This one is a little different, I think. Maybe the lesson is to be proud of your accomplishments . . . like being married for 100 days and not killing each other yet! ;) haha